I was looking for something on here - I didn't find it, but I'd forgotten how much I love my xanga. The colors, the style, the variety which Facebook just doesn't share.

Sitting at home tonight. Playing video games and listening to Neutral Milk Hotel. And speaking of NMH, I'm thinking of getting another tattoo sometime soon.  

Peter and I talked very seriously about buying a house these past few weeks. We decided against it, though, in favor of bigger adventures. We want to raise llamas, and build wonderful things with our hands. I know it's partly the season, but I'm overwhelmed with the desire to connect with the earth, to bury my face in it, to know its offerings and its dangers. For now, we wait to finish another year of school, save up a down payment, and do some world traveling.

I'm going to Europe this summer with my sister. Plans originated with Michael Jackson's final tour in London, and have grown to include various cities in France and Ireland. We are going to revel in being young, beautiful, and worldly. Peter and my brother are going to roadtrip through Canada, doing the things young men do.

Reality eludes me sometimes. I find myself at work, watching myself perform rote tasks, teach, organize, lobby, all through a fog. I literally have to shake to clear my head sometimes. Another cure for this is to watch three hours of X-Files (or play a lot of Eternal Sonata, like tonight).

You know, I am very fond of, and proud of, my life at the moment. Nostalgia sets in (like tonight), but I am so much better at handling it now.

I've been thinking alot about love this week. What is it, what is 'true' love, and how does that compare to the kind of stomach-churning love that we all yearn for? I'm beginning to understand, I think. Any statements on the subject?

And can anyone tell me the name of the True Love Gun comic? I remember the panels perfectly, but can't recall the name...